Uncommitted
by iceprincess954
Summary: He was thinking about Rory. ‘Why couldn’t he commit' Truth was, he was afraid of being hurt again. Edited.


A/N: Past fic. Logan's POV. Song is Freshman by The Verve Pipe.

Logan was lying on his bed in his dorm. Tonight had been Emily and Richard's vow renewal. He was thinking about Rory. 'Why couldn't he commit, dammit?' He knew he wanted to, for her, but he was afraid of being hurt again. He started thinking. 'Why did that one event cause this, how did it affect us that much? Colin and Finn too, it's done and over, so why can't we commit?' That was the last thought running through his head before he fell asleep.

_I can't be held responsible  
She was touching her face  
I won't be held responsible  
She fell in love in the first place_

It was his freshman year at Andover. They were just getting back from Winter Break. He went to Rome for a Life and Death Brigade party. He was walking through the halls and saw his girlfriend. He waved. That was when he first noticed things going wrong. She was avoiding him.

_For the life of me I cannot remember  
What made us think that we were wise and  
We'd never compromise  
For the life of me I cannot believe  
We'd ever die for these sins  
We were merely freshmen_

Over the next few days, she avoided him more and more. He was finally fed up with it. He went to see her that afternoon.

"Hey, what's been going on? You haven't talked to me in a week, and you've been avoiding me"

"Logan, I…." she trailed off.

"What? Come on, you can tell me" he said softly.

"Logan, I'm in love with someone else. I'm pregnant. It's over" her words struck him like a ton of bricks.

He walked out of her Massachusetts mansion, without saying a word. He'd just lost the only girl he'd ever loved. He felt his heart break. He was quiet and reclusive for the rest of the month. He was miserable, until tragedy stuck. It was the end of the month; Colin had just pulled up to his parent's Massachusetts house in his black Ferrari. Colin burst into his room. His eyes were red, his hair a mess and his clothes rumpled.

"She's gone" he sobbed out.

"Colin, what do you mean?" Logan asked his best friend, confused.

"She's dead. She over-dosed, she killed herself"

"Oh my god" he whispered.

That was it. The bombshell. Colin's girlfriend had killed herself. Logan knew she was depressed, and that she had problems with her family, but he never even thought she would do this. The next week was a blur, it was spent in Venice.

_My best friend took a week's  
Vacation to forget her  
His girl took a week's worth of  
Valium and slept  
And now he's guilt stricken sobbing with his  
Head on the floor  
Thinks about her now and how he never really  
Wept  
_

Both their hearts had been broken. His girl fell in love with someone else. His best friend's girl killed herself. Finn was there to witness it all. All Logan could do was think, and these were the words that plagued his mind:

_I can't be held responsible  
She was touching her face  
I won't be held responsible  
She fell in love in the first place_

For the life of me I cannot remember  
What made us think that we were wise and  
We'd never compromise  
For the life of me I cannot believe  
We'd ever die for these sins  
We were merely freshmen

The end of the term came quickly, and as soon as it did both Logan and Colin shot out of there like bullets. The three stooges weren't so great anymore. Everyone saw the change. They all transferred to a boarding school in Switzerland. The transferred to try to forget.

_We've tried to wash our hands of all this  
We never talk of our lacking relationships  
And how we're guilt stricken sobbing with our  
Heads on the floor  
We fell through the ice when we tried not to  
Slip_

From the day the Huntzberger jet touched down in Switzerland, the three of them vowed not to commit and not to have their hearts broken again. They couldn't handle the pain. 

Logan woke up in a cold sweat. He was dizzy. He looked around and saw the darkness of his Yale dorm. He glanced at the clock, 4 am the red numbers shone.

_For the life of me I cannot remember  
What made us think that we were wise and  
We'd never compromise  
For the life of me I cannot believe  
We'd ever die for these sins  
We were merely freshmen_

All he could think was "We were only freshmen"


End file.
